People sometimes stop me in the street and ask me, "Hey, Diego, do you ever run out of ideas?" or "Hey, Diego, do you ever get writer's block?" or "Hey, Diego, do you always wear those stupid sunglasses? 'Cause they make you seem like you're really full of yourself."
To which I'll usually reply, "Um, excuse me - do I know you?" or "I'm sorry, sir/madam, but you have me at a disadvantage: I don't know who the fuck you are..." or "Mom, do you have to embarrass me in public all the time? How'm I supposed to get laid with you embarrassing me like that all the time?"
Actually, that never happens. The only people who stop me in the street are homeless guys; I usually give 'em whatever money I have in my wallet and/or the rest of my cigarettes if I have a pack on me. I appreciate it when the process takes no longer than 60 seconds, however: not 'cause I'm skeeved or grossed out or anything; more 'cause I usually have shit to do (like pick up my son from school or do laundry or write this blog).
It occurs to me, though, that maybe these homeless dudes'd be a great source of feedback & commentary on some of my movie ideas. Why not? I always listen to their life stories or their observations on contemporary society or their explanations of why they're for or against the death penalty; I'm buying the fucking coffee & providing the smokes, though, so shouldn't I get to say something, too?
Now, is it vile & inconsiderate of me to propose using the homeless as sounding boards for my cinematically-oriented narrative proposals? Would I be in violation of the Second Maxim of Kant's Categorical Imperative if I did so? And, more importantly, does anyone really give a shit?
Such considerations are both beyond the scope & outside the purpose of this blog. You don't come here for intellectually masturbatory philosophical analysis; you come here to read about (and, hopefully, someday buy) my ideas for movies & maybe a novel or short story or farm equipment catalog. So let's get to it, shall we?
Vampire Santa Redux
I know what you're going to say: "Diego, didn't we just cover the whole Santa/Dracula thing a few days ago?" Yes, children - on November 20, to be exact. But I was watching Taste the Blood of Dracula last night and was reminded of a couple of titles I came up with a few years ago...
Back in the spring of 2004, WB Home Video released Dracula Has Risen from the Grave and Taste the Blood of Dracula. Manna from
Admit it: you totally want to see these movies now...
Stay tuned: I'll pull a storyline out of my ass for these two soon enough.
Random Bits
I haven't worked out a plot or story or characters for any of these titles yet, either, but they strike me as worthy of the effort. And because I know you'll be eagerly waiting for me to whip up something worthy of your attention, I promise to put my best men on this ASAP (i.e. as soon as I drive down to Home Depot and hire them).
Revenge of the Manitou (proposed sequel to William Girdler's masterful The Manitou)
Body of a She-Male (from the Amero/Findlay sexploitation classic Body of a Female)
and
Diary of a Shotgun
The Robot Who Broke My Heart
Chainsaw Hitman
Leave Her to Satan
Story of a One-Night Stand
Curse of the Starry Night
Death Train to Phoenix
The Devil's Stepmom
Grand Theft Evil
Prognosis: Gay
Sword of the Cheerleader
Foot Meets Ass
Gestapo Starbeast
The Eternal Damnation of a Monkey's Uncle
Dr. Racist
Vault of Cataclysm
Any of these you want me to work on first? Let me know...
Happy Thanksgiving!
Copyright © 2010 by Diego Baz
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