Back on August 28, 2008, one of the titles I came up with during a particularly productive writing session was Apocalypse of Depravity. It's the story of a healthy young Republican from Orange County who marries his high school sweetheart, gets a job as an aerospace engineer, has 2 perfect kids, and goes on to live an uneventful but happy life (except for that one time in Mazatlán when he couldn't find his pants...or that other time when he was out of town on business and slept with a shemale). The end. I dig "feel good" movies like this. They make you feel good. No wonder they're so popular.
It's True: God Hates You
Another title I came up with that day was Brain Without a Head. I'm sure most of you (or your parents, or whoever your mother's sleeping with at the moment) have seen or at least've heard about the utterly seminal The Brain That Wouldn't Die and Chano Urueta's deplorably essential The Living Head, yes? I hope so, 'cause BWH would follow in that tradition, and you could have a nice triple feature at home once it's released (straight to DVD, of course ☺). Don't forget the popcorn!
It'd be kinda like Ordinary People in that a jizz-white upper middle class family is coping with a recent death in the family and everyone's sad & cranky and they're always fighting 'cause everyone loved Drew, the oldest son, who died, but unbeknownst to everyone, mom's been keeping Drew's brain in a jar in the basement ('cause she just can't let go). Mom talks to Drew's brain, plays Uno with it, has high tea at 4pm with it, etc., and eventually ends up seducing it, which'd be a reverent nod to Bernardo Bertolucci's forgotten masterpiece Luna (remember that one?) and Andrea Bianchi's Burial Ground, specifically that scene when the overwhelmingly weird Peter Bark starts breastfeeding on his mom, Mariangela Giordano. Mangiare!
Freakshow, Freakshow on the Dance Floor
In the same notebook entry for that day is Tequila Breakdance Party and also Skid Row Exorcist (the movie of which'd feature that song by Skid Row, "18 and Life," on the soundtrack, preferably during the end credits, even though it wouldn't really have anything to do with the movie) and also Spoontang and also Cannibal Christmas, which'd tell the tale of what happens when the holiday feast's been tainted with "super rabies" (think of it as 28 Days Later + I Drink Your Blood + White Christmas). I think people who like watching movies would also like these, especially Spoontang, the true story of a sigmoidoscopy tube repairman who became a porn director and blew all his money on cocaine during the Care Bears craze of the '80s. It's fun to watch movies!
Copyright © 2010 by Diego Baz (except for the pictures)
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